As you come to my age, you would probably attend at least 6 weddings a year. Besides the mass consumption of food during the dinner, I have also learned “a lot” about Chinese wedding.

I remember attending the first wedding a few years back when I first came to Singapore. What struck me the most is the “red packet” system here. I was pretty intrigued by the “price list” that the guest will generally use as a guideline to contribute the red packet money.

The amount of money you put in the red packet depends on the venue of the wedding banquet (more if the dinner is at the 5-star hotel), time of the wedding (lunch is usually cheaper than dinner, and so is weekdays) and etc.

I have to ask the “veteran” how much to give each time.

It didn’t make sense to me before. I mean, the newly-weds invite their friends and families to witness their wedding and so, give a treat to the guest. But also expect the guest to pay for their meals?

What also surprise me the most is the general comment made by the newly-weds,“the red-packet money can usually cover the cost of the dinner…so not to worry if the banquet cost $1000 per table.”

So the couple chooses to throw a $1000 per table banquet to the guest and “kind-of” expects the guest to pay at least $100 per person so to cover the cost?

Then, what is the true meaning and purpose of throwing a banquet then if it is to give your guest a treat?

And of course, there is a supply-and-demand issue. Some guests pay $60 for the dinner, they also expect to consume as much alcohol and shark fin as possible.

I can’t remember how many times I have read about people’s complains about paying for an expensive banquet but did not get to eat shark fin and abalone. Some even complained about vegetarian banquet or banquet without alcohol because “it is not worth the red packet money that they give”.

I am not saying everyone is like that. Only some. If the money is to be given as a blessing, then so be it. Why complain so much?

Just recently, I attended my friend’s wedding and she married an American. They had simple buffet but it was a wedding that I will remember for life! The groom’s father dressed up as Elvis Presley, sang a few song to entertain the guests.

The coolest dad!

The newly-weds did a Bollywood dance performance in suit and gown, they went around taking photos and everybody talked to everybody (because there was no table but only a handful of chairs). Guests did chicken dance and etc. It was one wedding that was not ABOUT THE FOOD, nor how many gowns the bride change during the banquet!

Suddenly, it reminded me of the weddings that I used to attend in Australia. Simple food but lots of love and interaction! The guests did not just turn up, consume the first to last dish and then bid goodbye. And I often made some new friends in their weddings.

I am glad that my parents are cool about what I like. To them, wedding is not about “face”, nor how many dresses I change and shark fin! So…Definitely no shark fin in my wedding…

Poor sharks…

p/s: No, I. AM. NOT. planning for a wedding… :)

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