The “Tan Hong Ming’s advertisement” got me looked through my photo albums. Guess what I have found…

A picture of my first crush!!!! (the guy circled in blue) I was only five.

I remember kissing him on his cheek everyday, especially when my teacher was teaching. I have no idea why I did that and where I learned that from. He was always very shy. And no, he never kissed me back. -_-

But, I had a very good friend when I was 4. This boy treated me very well. During playtime, he was the first one ran out of the class to grab one of the swings for me. I love swing and it was always the most popular thing at the playground.

I know I wasn’t paying attention. I was only 4!! And the rest were 5!

He fed me lunches, he lent me his colour pencils and went home with me after school. He was 5 years old. I joined the 5 year-old class then because there wasn’t any class for kids younger than 5.

So, I was transferred to another kindergarten when I was 5. We lost contact and I hopeless “fell in love” with another boy, whom I kissed everyday. This boy didn’t even treat me nice. -_-

I have such a dramatic life… started as young as 4 years old.
See my account on poking a boy’s hand with my colour pencil.

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ref⋅uge [ref-yooj]

–noun
1. shelter or protection from danger, trouble, etc.: to take refuge from a storm.
2. a place of shelter, protection, or safety.
3. anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape

The lack of updates is an indication of my stress level. I am trying to cope with stress everyday. I wouldn’t say that I am going through a huge storm, but I am going through a “pruning process” instead.

prune [proon]

–verb
3. to rid or clear of (anything superfluous or undesirable).

Lots of trials and challenges everyday, they test my patience, wisdom and selflessness. I only hope that going through these trials would make me a “pruned” person.

It’s hard to consciously knowing that I am under stress (so used to it…almost like a routine). But I do know that one would explicitly behave a certain way when going through an intensive stress. My stress manifests in this:

It all started one day when I was extremely stressed out in class. I almost stomped out of class and was having migraine. Instead of going to my colleague and whined about it, I took a slow stroll out of the campus for breathing space and self-internalisation.

There and then, I found this place – THE PRATA PARADISE

I ordered a cheese sausage prata and gobbled it in tears. It relieved me from my stress and migraine. I FELT GOOD AND ALIVE!

Since then, I have been a regular customer there. More so when I am stressed out. My brain will tell me to walk there though sometimes I resist it (because I know it is unhealthy).

This whole prata experience helps me a lot. For once, I never liked eating alone. But now, I look forward to the “my prata and I” moment.

As you can see from the picture above, YES, I eat it with sugar AND curry. AND yes, that makes the curry sweet and salty…yet, crunchy with undissolved white sugar. IT IS HEAVENLY TASTY!

What and where is your “refuge”?

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I always feel strange whenever I look at pictures taken in Perth by friends and random people online.

“Hey…I know that place! I used to do…”

“It would be nice to be back again…” etc etc

Though I always have the choice to pack my bag and to “venture to another country” anytime, I’ve chosen to forgo this freedom. I called it the “freedom to lose the freedom“.

Many have told me:“You should have gone to Sydney! Better opportunity there! The exposure..and everything”

Ask me last year, I would have agreed.

But this time, I have chosen the other path. I am staying here, to complete my studies and for as long as I am needed here.

I like the freedom to be able to lose the freedom to move around. Simply because, I have the freedom to choose what I cherish the most. I don’t think what’s BEST FOR ME ALONE works for me now. I have to think what is best for two.

I know it well that I would be ended up staying in Australia for many years to come if I go, leaving once again what I have built in Singapore. You see, most of my friends do not last for 5 years.

My friend TH told me,“We must be friends for more than 5 years, ok?”

Though I nodded back then, I can’t help having the second thought behind my mind. These people have become my secondary family members.

For the first time, I actually STOPPED thinking of moving away. You see, I started to move around since I was 6 years old. My first stop was leaving to another state to pursue my studies in a primary school that I HAD CHOSEN by myself.

I remember telling my mom when I was 5, that I wanted to move to Penang to study in a particular school. She had to send me off in tears.

After high school, I chose to go to the States to do my degree. Once again, she was upset because “it was too far”. Thus Australia. And again, she sent me off in tears….many many times for years.

When I was working in Australia, I never stopped thinking of moving to other countries. I applied jobs in several countries. Subsequently, I moved to Singapore, which I told myself that I would move again after 2-3 years.

I made my decision to stay just last week. I thought it was going to be tough but boy I felt good! Never thought making a decision like this could be this easy…I guess because I have learned what is best and most important to me now.

Is that what people called “settling down“? It was never in my dictionary but now I think it is.:)

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My neighbour gave birth to a twin – a BOY and a GIRL!

I called it, the JACKPOT.

Aren’t they lovely? They are only 2 weeks old.

Frankly, I used to find it hard to comprehend how a mother would do the same thing around the clock – feed, burp, put the baby to sleep and change diaper. Then it starts all over again, a routine and cycle that runs repetitively around 24 hours for a few months!!

But after dropping by for 2 days in a row now, my perception has changed. In fact, I surprised myself for just watching the babies slept for 2 hours. ME, sitting there doing anything for 2 hours! Any tiny movement excited me too. I just want to wait for them to wake up again and smile at me. The 2-hour is completely worth it!

So far, their routines have been very timely. They wake up for feeding every 2 hours, and go back to sleep again. That’s what a baby do anyway. So to catch them with their eyes wide open is very rare. Sometimes I just want to annoy them by poking their cheeks and tickling their feet if they oversleep a bit. I am so addicted to fond of their scents, too! Nothing beats a newborn natural scent, man.

It never fails to melt my heart when their tiny hands grab my finger. I just go soft and melt like a glue.

Aww…

I have been helping out in feeding and changing diapers. I must say, baby’s poo poo no longer freaks me out.

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(18 March 2009)
You see, that’s another sign of aging!

Signs to show that I have officially crossed the “mid-20s” mark to “late 20s”.

For the past one year,
- I’ve attended more weddings than my last 24 years’ combined. More upcoming this year.
- I was friend’s bridesmaid – 3 times.
- Did friend’s wedding decor and flower arrangement (my first time but it was fun!)
- Celebrated friends’ arrival of new borns – countless times.
- I received updates of friends’ engagements and wedding – almost every week!
- My colleagues’ and friends’ kids called me AUNTIE.
- Started to think about property investment and insurance.
- Started to realise that I still have so much to accomplish before turning 30.

Nonetheless, I think I have achieved much for the past 1 year and am looking forward to my 27th birthday! I wonder what the world will bring to me from now till march 2010.

No birthday celebration is complete without spending it with friends and loved ones.

Thank you all for being part of my 26 years! You guys played a part in making who I am today.

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