19 January 08
A heart-breaking session..
Parents are invited to attend a seminar each year to learn about the latest school activities, directions, goals and most importantly, their kids’ performances at school.
Every meeting with the students’ parents never fails to break my heart.
If you think that we take this opportunity to ‘complain’ about you (students), then I urge you to think again. The last thing that I want, is to see how disappointed and sad they are. AND I DON’T LIKE THAT!
But when I complimented their kids about their strengths (which I did to every parents because I believe every kid is gifted and unique), their eyes glowed.
Though I am not a parent but my heart goes to them. To see how desperate they are to communicate and reach out to their kids is heart-wrenching. Even before the question “how does my kid do?” is asked, I can already see how worried they are when approaching me from far.
When I first joined the teaching force, I thought it was a joke to hold a meet-the-parents seminar at a college level. (read this – exactly 1 year ago!) I mean, back at my school, they stopped meeting the parents after primary school!
But I have changed my mind now. I think it is THE ONLY way that some parents can understand, learn more about their kids and seek help, especially those whose kids do not talk to them.
The common concerns are:
“My kid plays game till late every night. And I can’t do anything about it! He will be mad at me!”
“He didn’t get to sleep for days because of ‘rushing a project’..”
“He throws tantrums whenever I ask him about school..”
“He listens to teacher more than listening to us..”
“Please cane him if you need to…” (NO!! We don’t cane students!)
“How do I know when his exam is?”
“He always plays games and don’t do school work!”
“Is there some sorts of softwares that I can use to shut down his computer, say, after 10pm?”
“Er…can you tell him that I will support him in …??”
“Er…don’t tell him that I spoke to you about…..”
HARLOO!!! What have they done to their parents?? Until they need us to be some sort of messenger!!
Can you see how much they wanted to communicate with their kids but are challenged to do so?
When I was young, my mom once told me that whenever I threw tantrum at her, I literally broke her heart into millions of pieces. I’ve never thrown/yelled/banged the door since then, because I hate to see her cries.
So next time, when you (to the students who are “related” to above statements) see your parents knocking on your door and to check on you late at night, think twice before you scream at them. They are just concerned.
Like most of them said to me:”Which parents do not love and care about their kids?“.
Posted under Thoughts & musings , Work | [10] Comments
January 19th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
True that most if not all parents care for their kids, but their way of expressing it might lead their children to believe otherwise. It’s really up to their interpretation.
When children grow up, they want their own private space, and parents have to intrude that if they were to improve their relationship and communication with them. Here’s where the problem comes in. Teens don’t want to be monitored 24/7 about how they’re doing nor do they wish to report it fully to their parents, because it’s after all their private life.
After all, parents have (or they feel that way) more life experience than them, so if they heard anything that sounds suspicious to them, they’ll either probe further or entirely forbid them from doing certain things. So they learnt one thing – it’s best to keep a distance from them or just stay silent.
Just my two cents. It might be politically incorrect, so take it with a pinch of salt.
January 19th, 2008 at 10:02 pm
Cherry, I going to attend my daugther “Techcer meet parent’ next week, let see how it go…….!!! but I do share your view!!
LY.Tai
January 20th, 2008 at 7:33 am
This is a great post! Young people, please heed up…
January 20th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
Peter got me to do a lecture on Gaming addiction for our GET side on Saturday – and boy, were there a lot of parents asking to further discuss their child’s addiction problems with me when I was done.:)
January 20th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Hello there Dr. Foo! This is one of the GET second year students speaking.
January 21st, 2008 at 6:48 am
I didn’t know schools do these things after secondary school.
I think it is a very useful tool. However, at their age, that’s the problem I think.
January 22nd, 2008 at 9:04 pm
Well this is all I can say… Welcome to the future generation of Singapore youth!!!
since you have experience now, you agar agar know how different during our mother’s time and compare to us now… YEAH!
number one slackers!
January 22nd, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Kis: Thanks for sharing. It is always nice to know about how teens think nowadays. I mean..I used to be a teen not long ago but it just seems so different being a teen now.
New: AHaha…did you encourage or discourage me from being a mom huh?
January 23rd, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Well, pretty much whatever Kisa said, but I do feel it’s unfair for the kids to treat their parents with such temper. Unless they’re really intrusive and all that I guess.
May 9th, 2008 at 8:28 am
[...] still. One of my colleagues at the faculty, has another perspective of meeting parents, and her entry is a heartfelt read. This entry was posted on Friday, January 25th, 2008 at 8:31 am and is filed [...]