I have finally completed my master!

“Really? So fast??!!!” My friends exclaimed.

May be..because I did it full time and it took me 1.5 years only. Working and studying full time was never easy for me but I am glad I managed to pull it through.

When my students complained that they had many assignments and being very very stressed out, I wished I could just roll my eyes and said:”Friend, you have no idea how it is like to work and study full time.”

I am not complaining, because I MADE A CHOICE. Of course I could do it slow and it could take me up to 3 years but that’s not what I want. I made a choice, stuck to it, got the best out of everything….finished. What is there to complain?

Very often we hear more students getting depressed and easily stressed out by school work. Whenever my colleagues and I hear yet, another student being diagnosed with depression due to stress, we just sigh. Looking back at my first cohort of students 4 years ago, the students now are VERY VERY different.

I met an ex-student on a train whom I taught 4 years ago. He is now doing his last semester at uni. The first thing he said to me:“Ms Cherry, life at poly is so much easier. Lecturers were so helpful and they always came to help whenever we struggled. At uni, we had to do everything ourselves – sourcing for materials, debugging…and the deadlines are usually very tight!”

Then I said:“Now you know….last time still complained that we didn’t ‘feed’ you guys enough notes. Wait till you go out and work. It’s a whole new story again.”

If you want a bed of roses and stress-free life….then stay at home, rot on the bed and play games on Facebook 24/7.

Posted under Thoughts & musings | [4] Comments 

On last Thursday morning, I received SMS from Don after turning on my phone. (I turned off my phone when I sleep).

He said:”Pls give me a call first thing in the morning“. Sent at 12.39am.

And so I called.

The first thing he asked was “HOW ARE YOU?” I thought that was the strangest morning message from him. “Yeah? I’m OK. Why?”

“How are you feeling?”

“I am alright. Look, make it quick cos I need to get prepared for meeting.” (I had a meeting at 9am that day)

“I’m going to tell you something but please do not get upset.”

“uh huh…”

“Your grandfather passed away this morning. Your mom called me because she can’t reach you. Are you going back?”

“……..I guess so. I need to rush now, could you help me to book the air tickets?”

I rushed off for meeting and everything just went fast-forward from then. Just so happened that it was Wesak public holiday eve, all flights going out from Singapore that day were fully-booked. At the end, I had to travel to Johor to take Air Asia to Penang at 10.30pm. Still, the flight was full at the end.

Don sent me off at the airport. He said:“I didn’t expect that you are this calm…comparing to last time when your grandpa was admitted to ICU.”

“Yeah…It’s funny that I don’t feel anything now.”

The entire day was just another day for me. Busy at work, running here and there. But when I touched down at the Penang airport, the reality started to fall in. My cousin came to pick me up at 11.40pm in white top and black pants. Her eyes were very swollen.

On the way to the funeral parlour, she told me what happened at the hospital.
“We couldn’t even make it on time to see grandpa for the very last time. We were 1-2 mins late when we rushed to hospital at midnight. He had internal bleeding in the stomach since afternoon when we visited him. But he didn’t mention anything.”

I was still pretty composed.

It was 12.15am then. When the car pulled over at the funeral parlour, I started to tremble.

I saw my grandpa’s coffin from 200m away from me. My legs shook and I felt dizzy. When my cousin walked me near to the coffin, I started to pour and refused to look at my grandpa’s portrait. I squat down at a corner and cried the loudest ever in my life. My family members all came to me and started sobbing with me.

It took me an hour, to finally walk towards my grandpa. It was the hardest reality I have to face, even till now.

My sister couldn’t make it back from KL. “I have work and don’t think I’m able to come back.” She said. We were heartbroken. We wondered why she could be so cold.

The next morning, I was awoken by mom’s cry. She asked me how she could get my sister to come back. I picked up the phone and all I heard was just sobbing on the other end.

After talking to her for an hour, she finally agreed to come back. But she can only reach around 6pm and have to leave by 12am. “Great”, I said, “As long as you’re back. We all need you here.”

I waited at the gate when I spotted her car from afar. She had a huge towel hanging around her neck with 2 swollen eyes like quail eggs. We hugged the longest time.

“Come, let’s go and see grandpa.”

“No..I don’t want to, I’m scared…” She quivered.

She took another 20 minutes weeping, before walking towards the coffin.

“Che, thanks for making me come back. I was running away…”

“I know, we were all in denial…trying to avoid facing the truth. It took me an hour before going forward. You did better than me.”

It is still pretty surreal to me, to accept that he is gone. I was still massaging his hands and legs the week before. But he reunited us. I am so blessed that I have a great family who supported each other through hard times.

His legacy. My sister and I will reuse his frames. It is a trend now anyway.

Found several “ancient” letters in his safe. We can only understand 70% of the letter (because it is too “high level”) Turned out that they were my great grandfather’s! These letters were sent from China to my g.grandpa to acknowledge that they had received his money. In fact, he sent $140,000 to them to buy land for farming!!!! I wonder how much $140,000 was almost 80 years ago, if a bowl of noodle then was only 2 cents.

We miss you, grandpa…

Posted under Family | [2] Comments