Remember this sun-shine of mine?

After a year, he is back in my class again.:)

In class today…

SS: Er..have you done anything to your face? Sculpting or…something? (Ya, I think I heard the “sculpting”)

Me: Aiya…It’s OK. I’ve accepted that aging doesn’t necessary carry a negative connotation. I’m happy if I’ve become mature compared to last year. Don’t worry, no offense taken!
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And there I was, feeling liberated after responding like that. In fact, strangely, it actually came from the bottom of my heart!

I used to dislike the fact that I always look more mature than my peers. I even look more mature than some who are older than me. Many guessed my age = “my actual age + 3“. Frankly, I so totally hated it.

When I first join as an academic staff, people used to misunderstand me as one of the students. Though I am still the youngest staff here, I don’t get that “Eh? You’re a staff?” anymore.

Don’t get me wrong though. I am glad that I am not seen as a “young girl” anymore. I am glad that I have “stepped up”. Imagine, it is quite worrying if I am still perceived as the “young and sweet” one (as what my ex-boss used to comment that) after 4 years of teaching here. *shudder*

Why did I feel liberated though I am officially aging? Recently, I have come to learn that it is the society and culture that put aging in such a bad and shameful light.

Aging gracefully…

from Maryland Department of Aging

I am not as ignorant as I am 22. “Aging is not just decay, it’s growth.” One said before.

I am glad that I am who I am today, and what I have been through in the past. I understand and know more about life now. I understand myself better, and have dealt with my insecurities.

You know, most people would say “I wish I am 23 again.” But seldom or never you hear “I wish I’m 55″.

Surely, we have more energy to do more things when we are younger. But I think as we grow older and wiser, we are able to enjoy the world in different perspectives and light, something that we could not see when we were younger.

Once, I told my students in class. “I think I do not have regrets if I die today..” It shocked my students a bit. But I said:“Because I think I’ve done what I could and MORE for my age. Surely I look forward to what will be revealed to me for years to come. But I’m not looking backwards and think that I had an unfulfilled lives.”

I like what Morrie said in Tuesdays with Morrie:“How can I be envious of where you are – when I’ve been there myself?”

I think I am starting to embrace aging. I hope I will revisit this entry if I am shaken again in the future.

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