It’s my little cozy and warm cubicle!

What I need now is a beautiful English tea set, Earl Grey and honey.

Though I turn down the air con at my aisle sometimes, the cold air just keeps blowing from other air cons. Hence, our office is always freezing cold (the air con is turned on full blast at some sections) and people put on their jackets while working. Something that I can never comprehend.

Similar to my previous company in Australia. During winter, the heater was super-charged and my fellow colleagues started to loosen their ties and remove their jackets in the office. How irony!

Posted under Work | [4] Comments 

Our Christmas drama rehearsal is going on FULL and MAX speed now.

A little background: I volunteered to participate in my church Christmas drama this year. Not knowing what I would get myself into but I landed 2 interesting supporting roles! A high school student and a “lady of the night” at Geylang in the 70s. (Geylang is a red-light district in Singapore). Sorry, no slutty clothes.

So, the performance is on the 20th and 21st Dec at BBTC – FREE ADMISSION. I don’t have the details yet. In fact, am designing the poster and flyer.

My on-stage teacher. I even bought a pair of super classic canvas school shoes.

Don’t have the picture for the “lady of the night” though. Take a good guess of what those ladies wore in 70s at Geylang. I wish I could travel back to the 70s to do my research. Not easy to act as one I tell you..

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Saw my toothpaste in this form one night. Mom was so kind to consolidate the paste at the front of the tube for me. (Yup, I am that kind who squeeze in the middle). I will only squeeze the bottom when it is less than 30%.

So squeezing aside, though it was a small gesture, her thought and intention was very sweet. I can’t remember the last time I did something small yet thoughtful for her.

One word came to my mind, empathy.

Mom taught my sis and I to empathize for people through helping out in house chores. My sis and I used to wash only our own plates after dinner. Very self-centered. When my mom asked us to help her to wash one extra plate or bowl, we whined and complained as if our hands would be chopped off.

One thing she said that changed our perspectives:“If you don’t help me to wash, I will be the one who ended up washing all the dishes.”

Similarly, she reminded us that doing house chores is not only for our benefits, it is also about empathizing and be more sensitive of others’ needs. In another words, MORE YOU and LESS ME.

It’s hard to do something for people if we keep thinking about ourselves. Eg, how tired I will be, how much time I need to help, how busy I am etc.

It’s much easier and enjoyable to help when we think of others more. Eg, she will be happy if I do this for her, he will feel loved, he will be less tired, she will feel appreciated.

My mom’s favourite questioning technique has always been:“If you were me, how would you feel…?”

That will shut us up and start to think for her. Because of that, we learned to empathize for people, even for a stranger who needs a seat on the bus. And of course, it is a long journey to learn that not everything is about ME and MYSELF. In fact, I am still learning.

It is funny how a “squeezed” toothpaste reminded me so much about her “subtle” questioning.

Posted under Family , Life documentaries | [4] Comments 

It has been a hot topic since MDIS introduced dress code to its students and many were fuming.

So this morning, my colleague shared his views on students’ dressing on our campus. “A lecturer called to radio this morning and said he sees more and more butt cracks around campus.”

I do notice more super mini shorts and skirts around campus these days. But the question is, what is “appropriate” to dress to education institute? Note: Education Institute.

This student here said “As long as you are not too skimpily dressed, I think it’s fine. We wear what we feel comfortable in.”

Pic taken from the Electric Newpaper

And when asked for her reason of dressing so, she answered:“I have a friend who tells me to cover up more, but I see it as a way of reinforcing my own identity.”

Today, I flashed the news on the projector in my class. I was curious of how my students think and what their definition of “appropriate” is. The moment I brought up the picture above, most of them exclaimed:“Wow….SO SHORT!”

I was surprised and glad at the same time. I thought they wouldn’t think that it was inappropriate. Of course there was a handful of mischievous guys exclaimed “HOT!”at the back of my class. -_-

So that brought me to discuss in the class,“What is skimpily to you?” Though I am not TOO OLD for them but somehow, I felt that there could be a “generation gap”.

One of them said,“It depends on the context and environment.” I grinned.

“True. So what do you think of me if I am wearing mini skirt and spaghetti-strap top lecturing now? What will you think of me as a lecturer?”

They laughed, some said “Yer…so slutty”, and I knew I have put my points across.

So what kind of “identity” are we talking here? If dressing up is just to flaunt your identity like the lady said above, what kinda of “identity” or “image” she wants to portray and has portrayed to others?

Of course, one could say:”Why do I have to care what others think about my dressing? As long as I LIKE IT and I AM COMFORTABLE WITH IT.”

Well, there are many things that we also wish we could DO because WE FEEL LIKE DOING IT or WE LIKE IT. But what do you think have stopped most of us from doing it?

Posted under Thoughts & musings | [8] Comments 

One afternoon as I looked across my classroom, my students were busy scribbling their sketchbooks. For a split second, I thought I saw myself sitting there doing all the scribbling and sketching.

Suddenly it struck me that, I MISS GOING BACK TO SCHOOL!

I dug out all my blog archives from 2003. I started blogging in 2003 but I haven’t moved all my archives to this new blog yet. (not sure if I want to do it though). If it wasn’t of my archives, I wouldn’t be able to recall so many incidents and events that have happened in the past. It made me realised how much I have changed…..and GROWN. (I wonder if I used to speak and think like my students when I was their age.)

I have moved some entries and grouped them under “Reminiscence“. You can read about my first day being a tutor in my uni, my experimental stuff for inspiration and etc.

I feel so old now…

Posted under Reminiscence | [5] Comments 

I went to a friend’s house on Saturday. His mom just came back from a haircut. The first few seconds she saw me even before I could react, she said:“I know, it’s ugly…”

“No…I don’t think so. I think it is pretty modern.” I grinned.

Touching her hair while looking at the mirror, “Well, may be I just need a little styling.”

So I went to join my friend for a chat in the living room. She came out and her son saw her new hairstyle. He frowned a little. Somehow, his mom picked that up.

“I know, I know you’re going to say it’s ugly right?”

My friend didn’t answer.

“I plan to dye it and trim it later.” Then she turned to me. “My son is not proud of me.” And she walked to the kitchen.

I looked at my friend in shock and whispered. “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT???!!!”

My friend frowned and said,“No, I never say that.”

It was bothering with me, especially her expression. The scene kept playing in my mind for hours. At the end, I decided to talk to my friend.

You see, we may not make a comment as “I’m not proud of you” but little harmless comments that we’ve made along the way could lead the recipient thinking that way. Women in general are quite sensitive towards comments made about their appearances. Perhaps, in the past my friend has mentioned something about her clothing, the way she dresses. The speaker may not literally mean “I’m not proud of you” but the comments or criticism made in the past may have been perceived by the recipient the other way.

He exclaimed:“Oh NO!!”

My friend said the mom was joking. To me, it wasn’t. A comment like “my son is not proud me” could be put in a joking manner but, some jokes are meant to carry meanings. Otherwise, why would a thought like this come to her mind?

Body language and eye contact was another thing that I picked up when she said that. It was obvious that she was a little upset.

“You need to reassure your mom.” I said. “Insecurity kicks in sometimes when a woman crosses certain age. Aiya, just don’t make stupid comments about how a lady looks, regardless how old she is.”

“Instead of picking up times that she doesn’t dress well, give her compliments when she dresses well. Then she will remember times that she has dressed well and will continue to dress well”

When people complimented my mom on her dressing, she is always very proud and jokes:“That’s because my daughters encourage me to dress well. They don’t like to see me in auntie’s clothes.”

Frankly, I was really put off with a comment made to me about the fat around my tummy once. People who heard the comment said it was insane. Nat exclaimed:“PLLLEEEEEEAAASE lah!! That you called FAT??!!

I knew it was crazy but somehow when I looked at the mirror, the little statement surfaced – LOOK! FAT around the tummy. It took me 3 days to get over it. -_-

Then there is another group of women who is constantly asking:“Do I look fat in this dress?” “Is my thigh big?” etc etc etc. And whatever answer the man gives, it never pleases them. Say nice also cannot. They think you’re just patronizing them. Say NOT NICE, you’re digging your own grave.

Anyway, my point is, be EXTRA sensitive when making comments about woman’s appearance. Everyone likes compliments. Just do it with genuine heart. Don’t compliment when you don’t mean it. Body language and eye contact will give you away.

Posted under Thoughts & musings | [11] Comments