We had an interesting church service on Sunday. A reverend preached about Homosexuality.

Interestingly, his man who is now working as a counsellor at church was a gay in the past but has successfully “converted”. His clients are people who have issues in sexual orientation. Some interesting facts that he shared were:

1) They are not born homosexual. There is no evidence that shows that homosexuality is simply genetic.

2) Parenting plays an important role. Children who have sensitive temperament need more attention and love from parent. They are also likely to be very creative and sensual. (My friend and I nudged each other when the speaker said this) -_-

3) Parents are to understand the child’s love language. Eg, if a parent who always beat the child whose love language is TOUCH, the child’s “love tank” (heart) is likely to be empty. Hence, likely to seek dependency and “love” from someone else.

It was my first time knowing about “love language”. There are five of them: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. Do a test here.

I am not very sure what mine is because the result keeps changing, depending on my mood at different time. -_-

Generally, I love hugs. I like to hug more than being hugged actually. But, I am very careful in hugging people since I come to Singapore because I was warned that I may send wrong signals to people! But I still do to friends whom I know very well. I tell you…hug is very very therapeutic!

Since I can’t hug people as often now, I give a tight squeeze on people’s arm instead and look into the person’s eyes as if I am hugging him/her. Depending on how close I am with him/her though. For guys, I am more likely to give a pat on the back with a bit pressing and squeezing on the shoulder.

However, if you think people whose love language is touch like to “touch” people, then you may want to think twice. I don’t like to touch people whom I don’t really know (because touch means a LOT to me). In fact, I must remain that ‘x’ cm distance from the person when talking and walking. I can’t stand people talking to me while I can feel his/her breathe on my face!

Mm….so was I the “sensitive” and “sensual” child? Now I know why my friend nudged me. Mmm….-_-

So do you know yours?

Posted under Thoughts & musings | [11] Comments 

I had a great time hanging out with my grandma when she came to visit me. We had so much fun watching “All Things Japanese” wind orchestra at Esplanade. It was a mesmerising performance indeed!

I love to ask her about her past and her family. My all-time favourite story has always been how her parents met and fell in love.

My great grandma was a daughter of a China ambassador in Indonesia. My great grandpa on the other hand, was a painter and a violinist. My g.grandma grew up in a strict and rich family and hence, was not able to marry just anyone on the street.

My g.grandpa was hired to teach her painting at her house. And, they fell in love.

I would too, if a guy who can paint and play violin so well, for me! (Just kidding. I said…would) Furthermore, my g.grandpa was very GOODLOOKING!!

Anyway, her parents objected their relationship. Being the oriental Romeo and Juliet, my g.grandma sacrificed the rich and famous lifestyle. She ran away from home to be with my g.grandpa.

They had no money and were constantly running from one country to another. (world war 2). My grandma and the other siblings were born in different countries ranging from Singapore, Shanghai and Malaysia.

You know, story like this seldom has a good ending. My grandpa died of sickness during the World War 2. He didn’t get the medication attention on time. Hence, my g.grandma had to raise 5 children by herself.

What a drama!

My mother always wished that my g.grandpa passed down his violin for me. But you know, who cares about the violin when you were busy running for your life?

Suddenly, it reminded me that my mother once beamingly told me how well my father played harmonica. Mm…I see the connection..

For generations, the art, music and love have co-existed in my family. I have yet to “study” this relation and connection in my generation though. But I do, always find myself connect with people who love art and music.

Michael Newberry on Art, Inspiration, Love said:”…but almost every single person who had fallen in love with an artwork, with only one or two exceptions out of about thirty people, had felt love for a human being. And the opposite was also true: the people who had felt no love for any kind of artwork — and I don’t mean just painting; I mean, they hadn’t fallen in love with a piece of music, or writing, or anything else — they hadn’t felt a loving connection with another human being either.”

Mmm…Personally, I think the LOVE here is a little…too vague. A person who doesn’t love art doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t know how to love. And again, the worldview of love is very “skewed”. This, is my guidelines and criteria of TRUE LOVE.

What is your definition of LOVE?

Posted under Family | [3] Comments 

Remember this post?

I have received several feedbacks from my email and msn. It is interesting to read about their observations and views on how I related to each picture. Surprisingly, some readers (who do not know me in person) also gave me their understanding about me, from my blog!

I can’t post the emails and msn messages. So one reader suggested that I repost this entry so they can share their views here. Soooo…there you go..!

This…

OR this..?

Posted under Me! Me! | [2] Comments 

On Saturday afternoon, I went to a sushi restaurant for lunch. As I was reading and waiting for my friend, I heard 2 girls chatting and giggling at a corner.

One of them approached me and asked:“Are you from Malaysia?”

Holding my book with a mouth opened,”Ya, you are…..”

“I am from Penang. You too right?”

“OH!! I remembered you!! You were my junior!!”

She worked at the restaurant. We chatted for awhile and she told me that she was leaving.

“You came here ALONE? Wow…so brave…”

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This morning, my friend told me that she was going to further her studies in the States in September.

“I am quite worried…co’s I am going ALONE..” She said.

“Don’t worry. Things will work out fine..”

“Did you come to Singapore ALONE?” She asked.

“Yes. In fact, I went to Perth ALONE, too. I still remembered the first day when I touched down in Perth..”

It was a crazy afternoon. No one told me that the hostel wasn’t near the school. In fact, it was 20 minutes (by car) away. I dragged my huge luggage, travelled all the way to the city looking for my hostel.

It was 38˚C. The passer-by told me to keep walking straight, and it was “just around the corner”. After walking for 10 minutes with my luggage, the place was no where to be seen.

As I was panting and walking, a couple stopped the car next to me and asked if I needed a lift.

Mom told me not to take lift from strangers. But I DIDN’T CARE that much because I was just too exhausted. I hopped on. And the rest are history.

——————————————————————————————

In the evening, I was typing my report away. Wind blew, and carried the scent of domestic-cooked curry. I looked at the clock. It was almost 7pm. I wished someone could prepare the dinner for me.

Just as I thought, a msn message came in. Mike invited me to his place for dinner. His family cooked the dinner.

He also offered dinner to me the day befor and I felt very bad to accept his offer again. So I kindly rejected it.

Back to typing my report. Suddenly, my heart sank…

I. felt. so. lonely. Lonely because I missed my family. I missed them because Sunday has always been our family day.

I heard my neighbours talking to their kids. Laughter, complaint and screaming…

And there I was, just a wall away…typing away with a soft TV sound at the background.

Well, it is just another “those” days. It hits me once in a blue moon. But I know I will be fine tomorrow when my life is filled with whine and lame joke from my students, again.

Labour day is coming. Any plan for you guys??

Posted under Life documentaries | [4] Comments 

I have a friend who works in a bank under investment in Hong Kong. Let’s call him M.

Awhile ago, M texted me one day that he wished to talk to me desperately. So as requested, I went online to meet him.

This happened last year. I didn’t expect that he saved our chat log. The log that you are going to read was sent by him and he thinks it was nice to share.

I removed some of the whiney stuff, so here is it…

M: I’ve met a special girl awhile ago. We both like each other very much…

Me: That’s great! So are you telling me that you’re getting married?

M: No, I don’t think I can commit.

Me: Why?

M: I am too busy. You know how it’s like to work in a bank…it’s almost 24/7.

Me: Who doesn’t work like that these days. hahaha..

M: …..

Me: So you think she is the one?

M: I am not very sure at this stage but I think she is a fantastic person. Very friendly, helpful and stuff..We talk everything under the sun!! It is so nice to be around her…

Me: What do you intend to do?

M: I don’t know…as much as I want to be with her, I also can’t juggle between work and her and…other stuff.

Me: Does she know about your work commitment and your “other stuff”?

M: Yes.

Me: What does she say about it?

M: She is very supportive. She is very busy too, like you!

Me: So what’s your problem man? She is kind, understanding and so-your-type. It seems to me that she is everything that you have asked for.

M: I am worried that I couldn’t be a good companion for her because I rarely have time for her.

Me: How did you juggle your scouting days and school work in the past?

M: That’s different..

Me: You guys spent countless sleepless night for overnight meetings, campfires and stuff. Still you aced most exam though you skipped so many classes. How different is that? HAhahaha..

M: Passion I guess..

Me: Do you think that was a commitment too?

M: uh huh..

Me: So how different is pursuing that than her?

M: …

Me: If you think time is an issue for you, then it will always be an issue. Running away from it will not help. If you want something very badly, you will find ways to get it done no matter how and what, not by avoiding it.

Unless you tell me this girl isn’t worth the chase, you don’t want to find a way to commit, or you think next time is better..

M: …

Me: If you don’t find a way to pass this hurdle, you’ll never do. I work like a mad woman too. But we always have priorities. Once you know your priorities, you don’t even need to try hard to achieve it. It just falls onto your lap.

M: But what if I can’t give her happiness?

Me: What if?? There are so many WHAT IFs in the world! By the time you finish thinking all the what-ifs, you don’t need to do anything already.

Speak to her. This is not a one-man show. Both of you have to work things out. If she is willing…then what other problems do you think you have?

Sounds like Oprah Winfrey show or not? At this stage, I feel like a spinster..

Cutting the story short. Mr. M came back to me after 2 months and said they were happily together. Some more have time to travel….Say what no time..

To me, besides all the love and etc, marriage is a partnership. A strong partnership to overcome problems and challenges together. Do you think “happily ever after” just fall from the sky for people who just sit there and do nothing about their marriage?

Posted under Thoughts & musings | [6] Comments